How I Beat the Interior Design Establishment One Whole Time
Amalah  |  Sep 24, 2007 12:44 PM

I do not consider myself particularly creative when it comes to interior design…most of our furniture and accents were purchased because they were on sale, or were the boxes from Ikea voted Most Likely To Fit In Our Car. We do not have a guiding design principle or probably even much taste. I imagine at some point in my life I will give my house over to the inevitable Ceramic Cat and Teapot Collections, and I probably won’t care much.

(My mother-in-law, by the way, is the exact opposite. She’s the type who will find an antique fishing rod at a yard sale and hang it on the living room wall in a way that not only makes perfect sense, but looks absolutely freaking awesome.)

Anyway. We were recently looking for something for our own living room walls, preferably something that was 1) not beige, 2) not a mirror hung fourteen feet off the floor, and 3) not another stinking photo of our child, because even I’m getting a little sick of him. We also have plenty of artwork (my sister hogged all the artistic talent from our gene pool and her paintings alone make it look like we have awesome taste in art), but still had two boring expanses of wall.

Basically we wanted something that would perform the important function of Taking Up Space, while making No Artistic Statement Whatsoever.

So we found this cool metal and rattan screen thing. It was on sale.

img_8118.JPG

Problem: We actually wanted two, but there was only one left.

Solution: Rattan placemats. Also on sale. For $3. THREE DOLLAH.

img_8117.JPG

They are, without fail, the first thing people compliment us on when they visit. And I immediately shriek that OMG, THEY ARE PLACEMATS AND I GOT THEM FOR THREE DOLLARS.

And then people try to assure me that they certainly don’t look like placemats, and you’d never know, because they don’t understand me. They don’t understand that I am so in love with the idea that I have $3 placemats on my wall that I sort-of want to put the price tags back on them, along with PLACEMATS!!! written on the wall with a Sharpie.